My sentence choice:"Police accuse Gillihan of hiding the gun he used to shoot the girl and then trying to cover his tracks by sending text messages to people at the party they attended that evening, telling them to lie to police and say he and the girl had been at the party all night."
1) Tuesday, October,2007
2) The Seattle Times http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003918025_girlraped02m.html
3) The writer uses to manipulate sequentially lots of relative clause in a sentence , collective word "and" to sort the circumstances and time periods out how the case happened , and he ,in the mean time, uses the passive voice to explain literally what the details in the case was.
4)This sentence is my favor as the writer using the tremendous relative clause effectively in the sentences and express how the story occurred radically .
5)My sentence : The principle approves the request of student committee of processing the soccer competition and trying to hold the other competitions by announcing the notices to students at the broad they haunted, telling them to join the competitions and enjoy the process they participate
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1 comment:
The sentence is basically using a combination of the present tense and then a series of gerund phrases to describe the situation. VEry complicted!
Your new sentence is interesting, too. However, it contains information that does not need to be said in such a complex way. Therefore, it appears to be wordy, and the last phrase leaves the reader hanging in the air. Be careful about wordiness!
Even so, good attempt!
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